The Confident Girl.

" Therefore, he who rejects this instruction does not reject man but God, who gives you his Holy spirit."

1 Thessalonians 4:8

I always teach girls that confidence is one of the most beautiful thing about girls, and evidence of that is when Mean Girls hate you. If confidence wasn't so appealing, the Mean Girl wouldn't be jealous, but it is and she is. Confidence comes from a steady trust that God has you where you should be, when you should be there, and that he has got everything under control (go back to Romans 8:28!). It shows in your demeanor because you are at peace. Confidence isn't a bad thing; it's simply a recognition that you are who God made you to be and that is enough - no, that's more than enough. It's a beautiful thing, so others envy you for having something they don't.

So what can you do? Act insecure to please them? Cut yourself down? Complain about your big nose or wide behind? No, that would be dishonoring to the God who made your big nose and wide behind. (see 1 Corinthians 6:19-20). Never give up your confidence for anyone, even if it will gain you access to the inner circle. It isn't worth it. But there are some things you can do. If you are confidence, know that there will always be girls who hate you because you have what they desperately want. That never goes away, unfortunately. But you can try some things to help ease the pain.

1. Love' em. If you are so confident, then it shouldn't be hard for you to do this one thing : love your enemy. Ugh! I know - how horrific but how holy. Read all about it in Exodus 23:4, Proverbs 24:17-18, Zechariah 7:10, Matthew, 5:44, Luke 6:27, Romans 12:14, and Romans 12:20. Use your confidence to help others. Invite the Mean Girl over for a swim. Get to know her one-on-one. Help her with her homework. Do what you can to honor your God. She might not ever respond to your kindness, but this isn't about the outcome; it's about you serving your God the way he's called you to serve. Don't expect big changes in her but in you. You are the only one you can control. But risk this for your God -risk loving someone who hates you.
And remember, love isn't about how you feel. God never commanded you to feel good about your Mean Girls (enemies), only to love them. Love isn't a feeling; it is a choice. If it were a feeling, God couldn't have commanded you to do it, because feelings can't be ordered around.

2. React to her attach with love, or at least humor. You are confident, so you can keep your cool when she attacks. If she says something mean to you, don't get mad. Just smile and say something funny (about yourself, never her), or else say nothing at all. Remember, you lose when she makes you mad. So no matter what, don't get her mad.

As you can see, girls can hate other girls for all kinds of reasons. But regardless of why your particular mean Girl decided she didn't like you, your reaction to her is clear. If you love God and you want to be obedient to him, then you have only one option, and that is LOVE. Love can mean all kinds of things, but it is always selfless. Whatever form your loves takes, remember that it's not about you and your image but about God and his hand in your life. Will you let the Mean Girl win and make you disobedient to God's call to love your enemy, or will you rise about her goading and prove yourself faithful?

Hayley DiMarco.

♥